


How Long

by MangOhNo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bullies, Bullying, Eventual Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Physical Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:14:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24565975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MangOhNo/pseuds/MangOhNo
Summary: Tsukishima was always good at hiding things he didn’t want seen. That’s why few got to see what his real personality was like. All he had to do was plaster on a smile, grit his teeth, and tell a white lie. What they didn’t know couldn’t hurt them.ORTsukishima is being bullied and someone catches on. Will everything he's worked on concealing come to light, or will he be able to keep his secrets?
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi, implied AsaNoya
Comments: 10
Kudos: 59





	1. How It All Started

Tsukishima tried to cover the bruises that marred the pale skin on his back and arms. The marks in the vague shapes of hands and fingers from being manhandled. Those were the easier injuries he could hide. Thankfully he had a wide variety of long sleeve shirts, although spring was ending soon and will be replaced by the humid summer. But he’d have a few more weeks if not a month to figure out that one. 

He found himself purchasing some concealer for the first time a few months ago along with color correction makeup. This was to help cover the bags under his eyes and any bruises that happened upon his face. So far it had been working, or at least he hadn’t gotten any comments on his appearance.

Tsukishima was always good at hiding things he didn’t want seen. That’s why few got to see what his real personality was like. All he had to do was plaster on a smile, grit his teeth, and tell a white lie. What they didn’t know couldn’t hurt them.

He slid his hands against a rigid stone wall as he walked through the neighborhood, blasting music into his ears. Sure, it was 1 AM and he should be sleeping since he had school later, but a few hours of restlessness made him feel like he was going to explode, so he chose to walk the steam and restlessness off. Tsukishima breathed in the cool breeze of the night and sighed. It was rarely this calm. It felt nice to relax every once and awhile.

Or at least that’s what he thought until he rounded a corner and saw them. Sitting in front of a small convenience store about 5 blocks from his house. His eyes immediately saw the beer cans lying around them and their drunken demeanors. Tsukishima immediately turned on his heel and started walking back the way he came. He almost made it quietly back around the corner when he heard-

“Hey glasses!”

He froze.

“Yeah, you! I’m talkin’ so ya better c’mere yeah?”

‘What should I do?’ Tsukishima thought to himself. He could run, he could go to them, he could-

He felt something pointy and sharp poke his back.

“I said c’mere pretty boy”, a boy snarled, leaning into his ear.

Tsukishima got shoved into the alley by the convenience store, and landed on his ass. The boy brandishing the pocket knife came back to grab him as the others joined him. Everything in his head was yelling at him to leave but he was still frozen. Another boy grabbed the collar of his shirt and dragged him further into the alley, scraping Tsukishima’s legs against the pavement. The boy with the knife following him and sneering, holding the knife out as if to say “Run and see what happens”.

Finally the boy dragging him dropped him with a thud.

“I think this asshole needs ta learn another lesson, yeah?” a boy with scraggly brown hair chimed drunkenly.

“Ya know what? I think so too!” Knife boy proclaimed.

Tsukishima knew what would happen next. He could’ve ran, or fought back, something. But he was terrified. He’d never admit it for the sake of his pride, but he was absolutely terrified. Scraggly hair ripped off his headphones and threw them against the wall, breaking them upon contact.

Before he could process what happened, the kicks and punches rained down on him. This time they were sloppy though, hitting his face more often. Usually they were more “considerate” in trying to hide the fact they were beating Tsukishima. “Gracing” him with the ability to cover his wounds by aiming for his torso and arms. He tried to put his arms up to cover his head, but that just earned him some forceful yanking on his arms that he was certain was gonna bruise later.

He peeked to see if they were done after 3 seconds had passed without getting beat. His abusers were actually panting by now and wiping sweat away from their faces. Their attentions were elsewhere now as some of them were stumbling around the corner to resume drinking in front of the store. That just left Tsukishima, knife boy, and scraggly in the alley.

Tsukishima used all the strength he could muster to pull himself off the pavement and stumble out the side of the alley that led away from the store. He thought he was in the clear when he felt a stinging slice across his abdomen.

The boy with the knife had cut him. Tsukishima’s eyes went wide as he looked at his attacker who just laughed and waddled out of the alley back to his friends.

“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!” Tsukishima thought looking back down at his abdomen. His shirt was sliced open, revealing the wound. Blood trickled out and stained the newly cut fabric. It wasn’t bad enough for stitches, but enough to leave a permanent scar.

He didn’t know what to do. He’d dressed the wounds that had broken his skin before, but this was different. It was a clean slice from his lower right ribs that wrapped around his side diagonally to the top of his hip. Tsukishima pressed his hand to the wound, applying pressure, and quickly started limping back to his home. Akiteru was gone at college and his mom was away with relatives, so he could be as loud as he needed when getting the supplies to clean his wounds.

Somehow he had reached his house in what felt like a blink of time, but now he was drenched in sweat, and his hands were all bloody. The adrenaline was starting to wear off and he was hit with a wave of nausea. Tsukishima rushed up the stairs and into his bathroom, grabbing a first aid kit from under the sink. He retrieved some gauze from it and pressed it to his side, but the blood seeped through in no time at all. Considering the sweat and blood on himself, he decided to just hop into the shower and let the water run on his cut.

It stung like a bitch. He even startled himself from his own yell of pain when the water hit his cut. It took everything in him to not move out from under the spray of the shower head, but he toughed it out.

When the bleeding died down, he washed the rest of himself off and turned off the water, stepping out of the shower. He grabbed a dark towel and started drying himself as he stared at his reflection in the mirror. He looked like shit. New bruises were forming around, next to, and even on top of older bruises. A light bruise was making way on his cheekbone accompanied by another darker bruise on his jaw. Everything else was still coverable. As long as he didn’t get seen which meant he’d have to be extra careful while changing during gym and Volleyball Practice. 

Tsukishima thought he probably should’ve told someone about the abuse somewhere along the line. But he couldn’t. Couldn’t admit his own cowardice, despite acting like he was all tough. Couldn’t let them know that something was going wrong in his life. Couldn’t let Yamaguchi know that he’d let himself get bullied after sticking up for Yamaguchi just a few years back. 

Yamaguchi. His poor boyfriend. He knew that Yams wanted to be more intimate with Tsukishima, it even seemed like that was the direction they were heading before Tsukishima started getting abused. But he couldn’t let Yams see. He wanted to be the perfect boyfriend for him, not the pathetic boyfriend. He also couldn’t let Yamaguchi know why Tsukki was getting beat. The deal.

That’s right. A deal. The boys that beat him tonight were third years at Karasuno.

~They were planning on targeting Yamaguchi, writing hateful messages on his desk during lunch, waiting for Yamaguchi to come back and find them. However that day, Tsukishima had left his bento in the class and had headed back on his own to retrieve it while Yamaguchi saved him a spot with Kageyama and Hinata.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He said with his trademark arrogant asshole smirk.

The boys jolted and looked over at him, but just smirked when they realized who it was.

“Oh look, if it isn’t the other f*ggot,” Scraggly laughed.

“Yeah, that’s me. What about it?”

“Oh nothing, just writing your boyfriend some precious little love notes.” 

Tsukishima was ticked. 

“I hope that’s all, and you can just go on your way now?” Tsukishima said, dripping with insincere politeness.

“Well we were thinking about beating the f*g out of him later after school, but maybe there’s something you could do to stop us, hm? Something nice for your little boyfriend?”

No way in hell was Tsukishima going to allow them to lay a finger on Yamaguchi. Negotiating sounded stupid, but he couldn’t keep his eyes on Yamaguchi 24/7 without Yamaguchi getting suspicious. There was just no winning in this circumstance.

“I’m listening.”

“Good. Take his place and we’ll leave him alone.”

“Take his place?”

“Allow us to whatever we want, whenever we want to you, and we’ll leave him alone. 100% guarantee,” Scraggly said with a taunting smile, sticking his thumb up like a salesman.

“... Fine.”

“Good.”

And with that they left. They had gotten what they wanted. Now Tsukishima was mercilessly at their will. Their punching bag. Tsukishima spent the rest of the lunch period erasing homophobic comments and spiteful messages off Yamaguchi’s desk, finishing just as the bell rang. Yamaguchi asked where he’d been, but Tsukishima just shrugged and made up an excuse about needing to talk to their teacher.~

By the time Tsukishima finished replaying the past, he had patched himself up and was trudging into his room for pajamas to go to sleep. He slipped into them and glanced at the clock. 3:30 AM. He’d have to get up at 6 AM to start concealing the new and old marks before leaving for Yamaguchi’s house before school.

Tsukishima carelessly threw himself onto his bed with a grunt and fell into deep sleep.


	2. Hiding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pain and Secrecy

Tsukishima was jolted awake to the sound of his alarm blaring. His sleep had been plagued with the events of earlier in the night. But each time the scenes replayed in his head, the cut kept getting deeper, more jagged until it immobilized him completely and left him bleeding out in the alley.

He groaned and stretched out before looking at his alarm clock. 6:07 AM. Time to get up and start the concealing process. Everything in his body screamed at him as he peeled himself from his bed and slipped on his glasses. He started walking to the bathroom when he stopped dead in his tracks and fell onto the ground in pain. There was a tearing sensation of his cut being stretched open by the movements he had made prior. He could feel the warm blood ooze out onto the bandaging as he struggled to get up off of the floor. To keep the skin from stretching the wound further, he adopted a slight limp in his step.

He looked worse now than a couple hours ago. His face and torso were littered with dark bruises, an assortment of reds, blues, purples, and blacks blossomed throughout. Tsukishima realized he hadn’t checked his back or legs. His spine had a deep purple bruise from being knocked back onto the pavement, and his back as well as legs were scraped and somewhat bloodied from being dragged. To say it was painful would be downplaying the true pain and ache he felt.

And that wasn’t the worst of it. He’d see the third years again at school today. Maybe they’d be too hungover to do anything, but that was wishful thinking that did nothing to ease the pit of anxiety in Tsukishima’s stomach. He took out his bandages and makeup and started getting down to business, trying to avoid putting too much pressure on his new injuries while thinking of excuses he could make if anything were spotted. 

Despite having a plentiful amount of injuries, it took Tsukishima less time to get them covered up today, his long sleeve school uniform would cover him up, so the main area of focus would be his face and arms. He noticed he was running out of color correction, he’d have to pick some up at the store later.

The bruises ached with every press of the brush. At this point there wasn’t any part of his body that didn’t ache. His joints were on fire and his muscles felt like they were cramping. Today was going to be a bad day.

Tsukishima finished covering up the last of his visible wounds and limped back into his room to his wardrobe, pulling out his school uniform. His hip burned as he bent over to pull his pants over his legs. His shoulders and spine made it near impossible to get his shirt on over his head, nonetheless pull his jacket on. All that was left were his shoes and headphones and he was good to go.  _ His headphones. _ They were still broken, laying in the alleyway. Today wasn’t going to be a bad day. It would be utter shit.

He collected the last of his stuff and headed to the genkan to put on his shoes. He had no appetite whatsoever so breakfast wouldn’t be necessary. He rarely ate it anymore anyways. The pain made it hard to eat.

Finally he was ready to head out. His hands subconsciously grazed the back of his neck as he tried to find his headphones.

‘Right. They’re not here,’ Tsukishima thought, feeling even more deflated.

Oh well, he’d just have to deal with it. Just as he had to deal with the stupid third years for the rest of the year until they graduated, then everything would be okay again. 

The morning air was crisp yet slightly damp from the morning dew. Plump clouds floated through the baby blue sky. It didn’t feel anywhere near the same morning that he had gotten beaten in. That morning felt worlds away, when in fact it was just a mere few hours. And despite the lack of music, the atmosphere was somewhat calming. Distracting. That was it. He felt more distracted than anything. He was ignoring the slight limp to his walk, the ache in every joint, and the swelling pain on his face. Before he knew it, he had arrived at Yamaguchi’s house.

“Morning Tsukki!” Yamaguchi said with a bright smile as he ran out of his house and over to Tsukishima. 

“Morning,” Tsukishima said, his voice slightly wavering.

As they entered the school in a comfortable silence and put their shoes in the lockers, walking to their classroom, he felt Yamaguchi keep peering at him. Finally he glanced over at Yamaguchi.

“Where are your headphones?” Yamaguchi said. Tsukishima could’ve sworn he had seen a slight expression of worry on Yamaguchi’s face, so he just replied with;

“The cord got worn out from using them so much, so I have to buy a new pair.”

“Oh, okay then!”

It must’ve been convincing enough as Yamaguchi just kept happily strolling next to Tsukki. All would’ve been well until a short ginger idiot ran into him at full speed, colliding with his back and sending both Tsukishima and the ginger kid to the ground.

“TSUKKI!” Yamaguchi practically shrieked.

The pain that flooded Tsukishima’s already aching body was near enough to keep him laying on the ground, if he hadn’t been in a public setting. He instinctively shoved off the boy and whipped around to look at him.

“What’s wrong with you, Hinata?” Tsukishima hissed.

“You’re fine Tsukishima! In fact, I would’ve won the race to the end of the hall if YOU hadn’t gotten in the way!” Hinata pouted, jabbing his thumb over in Kageyama’s direction as he walked back from their so-called “finish line”, a triumphant grin on his face.

“Tsukki are you okay?” Yamaguchi said worriedly.

This made Tsukishima snap back into his previous vigilance. He got up from the ground (much too quickly for his bodies’ liking) and brushed himself off.

“Yeah Yams, I’m fine,” he replied grumpily. “Can’t you take responsibility for anything, Hinata?”

“What do you mean? Like I said- you’re the one who-”

“Whatever.”

Tsukishima just walked straight into his class and to his desk. He was NOT in the mood to be arguing today. He’s typical sassy retorts would be more diluted today if he even wanted the energy for practice tonight. Most of it would be spent anxious and guarded, trying not to let the masquerade slip. It’d all be okay by practice. He just had to get through today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for waiting for chapter 2! Chapter 3 to follow soon when I don't have work or babysitting. Let me know what you think! I love reading all comments!


	3. Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lunch time rolls aorund. Some certain boys want to see Tsukishima, but what if there's a person in particular that Tsukishima doesn't want to see?

So far the school day was… okay. Minus not being able to pay attention, and not taking any notes, it was okay. Until lunch time rolled around. Tsukishima hadn’t even realized the lunch bell had rung till he felt a poke on his shoulder, causing him to flinch harshly.

“Tsukki?” Yamaguchi said softly, clearly more worried now than before.

“I-I’m okay Yams, I was just daydreaming, and you startled me,” Tsukki said looking straight up into Yamaguchi’s chestnut brown eyes. He would’ve completely sold Yamaguchi on the daydream, if it weren’t for the stutter. He knew Yamaguchi, being just as observant as Yamaguchi, would hold on to that as a piece of evidence that Tsukishima, indeed, was not okay. 

Tsukishima got up from his desk and started heading to lunch with Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi was telling him about a fat bird he saw outside the window during class. They were almost to the lunch room when Tsukishima felt eyes on the back of his head. He knew, and he knew what would happen if he didn’t go.

“Hey Yams, I just remembered I left my money in my bag, so I’m gonna head back and get it, okay? Go ahead and sit with Kageyama and Hinata.”

“Are you sure? I can buy your lunch for you-”

“No, don’t waste your money on me. I’ll be back in a bit, okay?” Tsukishima said, plastering a smile on his face.

“Okay I guess,” Yamaguchi said, heading over to Kageyama and HInata who were already in the lunch line.

Tsukishima turned around and walked towards the third years who were smirking at him from the end of the hallway. His hip started a burning sensation as he approached them, as if it were a warning signal that he shouldn’t go near them. But the cost of not listening to them was too high. He had to. For Yamaguchi.

“Well, well, well, if it ain’t pretty boy?” Knife Boy snarled. “Smart of you to join us.”

“Now you’d be just as smart if you were to follow us,” Scraggly Boy chimed in.

He walked in the middle of the group of boys with his head hung low. Nothing and no one could help him now. The group walked outside and around the side of the gym, an alleyway with blind spots all throughout. Tsukishima stopped when the other boys did, and looked up to Scraggly and Knife Boy, both who were smiling.

“So tell me, how’s the hip, huh?” Scraggly Boy cackled, kicking Tsukishima straight in the hip. He grunted and fell on his knees, eyes widening at the searing pain erupting from his wound. 

Knife Boy walked over to him and grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at him.

“Honestly, I didn’t think you’d show up today, nonetheless be able to cover up that nasty bruise I gave you earlier on your cheek. Pity. I thought it added character,” he said, earning some cackles from the group.

“I thought… I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t touch my face,” Tsukishima mumbled under his breath.

“Sorry, what was that? I don’t remember asking you,” Knife Boy said, letting go of Tsukishima’s chin and slapping him backhandedly across the face.

The slap tingled and prickled on Tsukishima’s cheek, he reached up to touch his face before his hand was batted away.

“I think we can all say now that hitting you on the face won’t matter. You can just cover it like you did today. Anyways, meet us here after school, yeah? I think we have some unfinished business.”

Tsukishima counted to thirty before getting up off his knees and trudging inside. He headed straight for the bathroom, one he knew no one would be using.

When the door shut behind him, he let out a sigh and walked towards the mirror. 

“Fuck!” he said staring at his reflection. His cheek was slightly pink, but it would probably disappear within the hour. He pulled up the side of his shirt from under his jacket and plucked away the gauze that was covering his hip. It had begun bleeding lightly, but now a bruise was forming around the wound. Tsukishima grabbed a few paper towels and slipped it under the gauze to blot the fresh blood, reapplying it and steadying himself on the edge of the sink.

He felt like collapsing, everything inside of him screamed and he just. He wanted it to end. To sleep for just a few days and wake up in a time where nothing happened. Where he didn’t get beat, and he could be with Yamaguchi more. More mentally and physically. But the wounds and bruises that marred him were keeping him from being present. What’d he’d GIVE to even-

One of the stall doors behind him opened. Tsukishima swung around to see who it was. Whoever it was, they HAD to have heard something, HAD to have seen something, he couldn’t have them know he-

“Oh, hey Tsukishima, didn’t see ya there!” said a boy with silver hair, emerging from the stall and washing his hands in the sink next to him.

“S-suga?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading the new chapter! Let me know what you think in the comments below, I really do enjoy reading them!


	4. Next Steps

“S-suga?”

Suga’s greeting smile dropped a bit at Tsukishima’s “deer in the headlight” expression. Everything about him was tense and rigid, uncomfortably stiff.

“Everything okay Tsukishima?” He asked, his head tilting like a puppy.

‘Shit, play cool and maybe he went saying anything about what just happened,’ Tsukishima thought. “Yeah! Of course, just- uh, got hit in the face with a door.”

“A door?!” Suga cackled, walking over to the sink next to Tsukishima, getting soap and turning it on. “Wow Tsukishima, I never thought that you’d be the type! Now Yamaguchi I could see getting hit, but you!?”  
Tsukishima’s face burned with embarrassment. No, he hadn’t been hit by a door, but selling a bit of his dignity AND the possibility of being caught hiding by Suga was a bit humiliating for him. Tsukishima was a standoffish, tall, “tough-guy” and being vulnerable in any way was downright embarrassing.

“Yeah, well the kid wasn’t paying attention and swung it open without thinking someone could be behind it, I guess.”

“That’s rough buddy,” Suga said. “But why did you come down to this bathroom, isn’t it kinda out of the way from the lunchroom?”

“Oh, um… I just didn’t want Hinata or the King to get to see me like this. They would tease me all tonight at practice. I think it’ll go away quickly.”

“Makes sense. Anyways~ I’m headed back now. The lunch hour is almost over, just so you know,” Suga said, disposing of his paper towel and waving as he walked out the door.

“Thanks…”

Tsukishima stood there for a moment before looking at himself in the mirror.

‘Careful. I HAVE to be more careful. For Yams,’ Tsukki thought.

He took a deep breath, then headed towards the lunchroom. He walked through the entrance and headed toward the table that he, Yams, Kageyama, and Hinata were all sitting at. Yamaguchi spotted him as he was approaching and smiled warmly. It made butterflies flutter in Tsukishima’s stomach. Could Yamaguchi be anymore perfect?

“Hi Tsukki! Did you find your- WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE!?” Yamaguchi shrieked as Tsukishima sat down next to him.

Tsukishima cringed at the loudness as he quieted him down. Kageyama and Hinata stopped their conversation and looked at Tsukishima’s face.

Tsukishima unconsciously turned his wounded, red cheek to the side away from them.

“I’m fine, just got hit by a door,” he mumbled.

“A door? YOU?” Hinata said.

“Yeah, now let’s drop it and eat or whatever,” Tsukishima said, rolling his eyes.

“Um… okay,” Yamaguchi said. It was clear he wanted to ask more, but he knew Tsukki wouldn’t be receptive to them around other people.

The bell rang shortly after, and the group packed up their things and headed back to their classrooms. Kageyama and Hinata broke off from them first, running to their class at full speed in yet another race. Yamaguchi was humming to himself as they strode on as they approached their seats in the class. Neither of them said anything before splitting off and sitting in their seats, both too preoccupied with their own thoughts to make conversation at the moment.

A pit grew in Tsukishima as class progressed. The clock was moving too fast. He wanted to see Yamaguchi before practice, not the boys he knew would beat him. But he had to do this. For Yams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late updates. I recently had to quit my job because of my terrible manager, broke a bone, and have not been in a great place mentally. But I'm back now and the next chapter will be up much sooner this time. Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This is going to be a multi-chapter fic. Let me know what you think, I love reading comments!


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